What do I gotta do, to make you love me?

Dear indecisive fool,

Listen. You are 37, you’ve never been married and you’re quiet, shy and overweight. That’s a rotten luck you’ve got there, darling. There are a few things that you can change about your situation though:

You’re quiet? Get louder. Drinking helps. Just have a few drinks the next time you’re about to see your boyfriend, and tell him about your feelings.

You’re shy? Stop it. If you can’t change, try drinking wine and you’ll see that you’ll become much less shier.

You’re overweight? Darling, go to the gym. Stop eating and just have a smoke instead once in a while. If you want the men to love you, you gotta start working the booty.

You’re plain? Put on a nice dress, some make-up, and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Now to your question, if you should wait for your Prince Charming or if you should marry your best friend. Don’t marry. Why would you? Stay with your friend until you’ve found someone better because there’s nothing worse than being alone. Rot! If you can’t have sex with your friend, then have sex with someone else. Who cares? A woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do. You don’t have to love someone in order to feel a little secure and safe. If you want to be sure that you can rely on someone, I’d say marry the guy. Only because you’re married, doesn’t mean you’ve settled, so don’t worry about that. When it’s time for your Prince Charming, you can still get a divorce, it’s really easy, trust me I do it all the time.

Now darling, have a drink, dress up and go dancing. There’s nothing like a good night at a pub, where you can meet a lot of potential Princes.

Brett